Lovers of fantastic TV and otherworldly
acting rejoice, everyone’s favourite clone-drama is finally back, and by the
looks of it, it’s about to get even more complicated! The last time we saw the
Leda-sisters, Sarah has only barely escaped from Dyad, Cosima was still dying,
Helena got kidnapped, Rachel got a pencil put through her eye, and Alison
was... being Alison? I don’t remember anything particularly terrible happening
to her in the finale, which is good because she’s my favourite and God knows
she’s been through a lot in season 2. And then there was of course the big
twist at the very end of the episode when we found out about the existence of
Project Castor, a group of male clones who all look suspiciously like Creepy Mark
from the Prolethean ranch.
That’s more than enough to make
anyone crazy excited about next season, right? Well, I’m afraid here’s the part
where most fans are going to get angry at me, but honestly, it didn’t make me
excited at all, for various reasons. First of all, the twist didn’t shock me as
much as it seemed to shock most people. I was kinda just like, okay, there are
male clones too, so what? Plus I never really gave half a shit about Mark so
there wasn’t even that to make me excited about getting to know his „brothers”.
Just imagine if it was revealed that Felix was a clone instead. Now THAT would
have been amazing. Also, by the end of season 2 I kinda got really confused
about all the different groups and people and organizations and who wants to do
what with which clones, that I was honestly more worried about season 3 than
excited. I mean, how am I gonna enjoy this show going forward if I have zero
idea about what’s going on? So I made this plan to rewatch the first two seasons
and make notes of it so I can finally get everything straight, but then I didn’t,
which meant that I basically went into this premiere completely lost.
Thankfully, the „previously on” segment was unusually useful and it helped me
remember a lot of things that have happened, so by the end of the episode I
felt like I was good to go forward again. The reason I’m telling you this is so
that maybe you’ll be more understanding if half of my review is going to be
clueless ramblings and me wondering about why certain things are happening. I
promise I’ll be more on top of things by the time the next episode rolls
around.
I think it would be logical to do
this review as a sort of clone-by-clone breakdown, because right now all of
them had mostly distinct storylines and this way I’ll have a smaller chance of
messing things up. So let’s start with Cosima who was mostly confined to Felix’s
apartment in this episode, feeling better but still resting. She was devastated
when Delphine came and basically broke up with her because she’s the „new
Rachel” now and feels like she has to distance herself from Cosima if she wants
to do her job right. Cosima also shared what she knows about Dr. Duncan’s code
with Scott, while also proclaiming that she won’t tell it to her sisters yet
because „secrets are power”. I’m not sure this was such a great idea but I like
Scott so far and maybe there’s a chance that she won’t turn out to be a secret
agent of some so far unknown corporation, as I have come to expect anyone on
this show to be as a default.
Another clone who spend most of
the episode in a confined space, but definitely in a much less comfortable one,
was Helena, who got locked into a box by the military people who now have her.
Her only companion was an imagined talking scorpio, and honestly I have no idea
what to make of their scenes together. Was I supposed to recognize the voice or
something, and will this be in any way important later? At the end of the
episode she was taken out of the box and that’s about it for Helena this week.
At least Sarah now definitely knows that she is missing and is currently trying
her best to get her back somehow, so there’s hope that the next episode has
something a little bit more exciting in store for her.
Rachel was not feeling
particularly well after her eye operation, which looked disgusting by the way, but
at least she’s alive, right? That’s the good news. The bad news is that Delphine
felt unusually torture-happy in this episode, and it wasn’t very nice seeing
her abuse Rachel like that. I know I’m not supposed to feel sorry for her but
dammit Tatiana, that teary eye and stammering voice did it for me, and now I
feel really, really bad for her, even if by the end of the episodeit was
revealed that she was conspiring to have all of her clones and their loved ones
murdered. Why? I honestly don’t know. Maybe I should, but in that case I don’t
remember. Anyway, she’s gotta recover someday, and pissed-off Rachel Duncan
with a badass eyepatch is definitely something I’m looking forward to.
Alison had not much to this
episode either, except for annuncing that she’s gonna run for a position on the
school council or something like that, oh and jumping in to play Sarah in a
terrific scene that I’m gonna talk about more when I get there with Sarah.
So, Sarah. Sarah started the
episode by chilling on some sort of a beach with Felix and Kira, talking about
how Marion has gone off to Europe to cover for them. I didn’t remember that the
lady at the end of the previous episode was called Marion, or the fact that she
was a high-ranking person working for Dyad, so that’s nice to know. Something
as nice as a family enjoying a peacufel afternoon can never last too long on
Orphan Black though, so naturally Dephine arrived shortly to shed some desperately
needed light on Project Castor. According to her, until three weeks ago Dyad
didn’t even know that Project Castor existed, they were only a myth, as she put
it. Then she showed a video of Clone Boy making out with a girl, who turned out
to be yet another Leda-sister, Crystal Gorovich if I understood the name right,
and who was then quickly kidnapped when another Clone Boy arrived and joined up
with the first one. And now it’s time for another important announcement: I
know there’s supposed to be an article out there somewhere about the names and
roles of the various Castor clones, but I chose not to read, because I felt
like it would take half the fun out of this season. I think we can all agree
that being introduced to the different Leda clones and the subsequent process
of getting to know them individually was one of the best things about season 1,
so I have decided that I want the same experience with the Castor clones too.
Unfortunately this means that I don’t know any of their names aside from Mark,
who is absent right now and not very relevant to the plot yet, and I also have
a hard time telling them apart because they don’t have those kind of instantly
recognizable „trademarks” like Helena”s golden hair or Cosima’s dreads. Like
okay I know, one of them has a scar, but that’s not quite the same, is it? So
until they start showing signs of their own distinct personalities, or at least
until they mentions their names in-universe, I’m just gonna refer to all of
them as Clone Boy, and hope that it won’t get too confusing.
The Clone Boy being held captive
by Dyad wanted to speak to Sarah and he did, but this scene didn’t offer any
new information apart from reminding Sarah that maybe she should „count her
sisters”, which is why she eventually realized that something must have happened
to Helena. Soon after she also found out just what exactly it is that happened
to her, which is another reminder that I was very grateful for. Mrs S told
Sarah that she basically sold Helena to the military – and Paul – in exchange
for the safety of Sarah and Kira, which pissed Sarah off because who is Mrs S
to make such a decision about her sister? If I have to be honest I kinda agree
with both sides on this matter, and feel like Sarah’s anger is just as
justifiable as Siobhan’s decision. In any case I hope they make up soon, I
always like them best when they’re working together.
This new bit of information made
Sarah agree to Delphine’s plan of her posing as Rachel and meeting some dude
named Ferdinand from a company named Topside... I don’t know what that is, but it
has something to with the clones, naturally, and from what I’ve seen from this
episode it’s kinda like they’re controlling Dyad? You guys probably know more
about this than me, so I’d rather not embarrass myself any further. Delphine
only wanted Sarah to come in to the meeting dressed as Rachel, say hi, and then
excuse herself, so that the chance of Ferdinand finding out the truth is as
small as possible (because apparently it’s REALLY important to Delphine that no
one knows what happened to Rachel), but of course it didn’t work out that way.
Instead, Delphine and Sarah were taken to meet „Sarah Manning” which was
actually Alison posing as Sarah. This whole bit was very confusing to me for
the aforementioned reasons, but eventually it payed off with the reveal that
Rachel was conspiring with Topside to have all the clones killed. By the end of
the episode the plan was off, thanks to some „persuasion” from Sarah, which may
or may have not blown her cover... that wasn’t entirely clear to me. I’m also
not sure how this will affect Sarah’s plan to use Ferdinand to find Helena, but
I guess I’ll find out next week.
So that’s where we are now. A
whole bunch of new information which honestly just makes everything even more
confusing than before, and I can’t say that I’m any more excited about Project
Castor now than I was ten months ago. However, I’m ready to come back and
worship at the altar of Tatiana Maslany every week anyway because I love this
show to bits, and when has a little confusion ever stopped me from watching a
series anyway (*cough*Lost*cough*)?
Episode MVP: Tatiana Maslany as almost everyone. I kinda feel like
this particular „award” will be unnecessary for this show, but I’m still gona
keep it around for a while. Maybe there’s going to be an episode where Felix or
Mrs S will be particularly amazing, or maybe Boy Clone actor Ari Millen is
going to surprise everyone by stealing the show from Tatiana... okay, that’s
not very likely, but you know what I mean.
Quote(s) of the episode:
"Cosima's temperature's down
to normal by the way, she's actually got a bit of colour in her cheeks."
"And Helena?"
"Helena's an albino." –
Felix Dawkins
"Rachel Duncan - Über
Bitch." – Sarah Manning
Random tidbits:
- That opening scene with Helena’s
dream/hallucination was so cute and perfect that you just knew something
horrible was gonna happen next, and in true Orphan Black fashion, it did... Oh
how I want to see the sisters and their families together like that for real
someday!
- I didn’t mention Mrs S being
attacked by Clone Boy in the review because I don’t really understand why that
scene was important, but it still happened and it wasn’t nice so I thought I’d
at least mention it here.
- Sarah's makeover into Rachel was
so much fun to watch, and I know that everyone says this all the time but I can’t
help it, I have to say it too: I’m still amazed by Tatiana’s talent to play
each clone as a completely different person, to the point that I regularly
forget that they’re all played by the same actress, and her talent is never
more apparent than when she has to play a clone masquerading as another clone.
That little scene where Sarah walked into the room in Rachel’s costume but not
yet in full Rachel-mode was particularly mindblowing, I just don’t understand how
I can see that it's not Rachel even though they look exactly the same??? I don’t
know but it’s incredible.
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