Reign 2x19 Abandoned

 

I know I gave Reign a lot of shit last week because of its handling of various relationships and just generally taking the show into the wrong direction, and I would love to say that things got better this week... but sadly, it’s still very much about Mary and Conde being super into each other, Francis being angsty about it, and Narcisse sleeping with Catherine. On the bright side, there was a bit of Narcisse/Lola too and even a tiny hint of Kenna/Renaude, so that was enough to see me off until next week. And if you think that I shouldn’t be so focused on the relationship stuff and should instead concentrate on the other aspects of the show, like the political situation, well believe me I would be the happiest if I could but as of right now these two are so intertwined that I’m literally unable to separate them. After all, these are kings and queens amd princes we’re talking about, and their relationships with each other are very much the driving force behind most of the political games the writers have decided to explore. So I will probably keep whining about the badly done relationships until they miraculously sort themselves out, or introduce a bigger plot that is much more fun to write about. Until that happens, bear with me please.

It’s been several weeks in-universe since I was last rolling my eyesat some ridiculous line that’s meant to convince me that Mary actually loves Conde and he’s the best thing in her life and she wants to be with him five-ever, but it only took her a couple of minutes into this episode to fulfill my weekly quota: "These last few weeky without you, I felt as though I was dying." Sigh. Yeah, okay. She also told him yet again that she wants them to be together, just not officially in Scotland as they originally planned because she also has to stay with her recently recovered husband. Then they kissed and it was all very romantic I guess. I’m beyond done with this storyline and I really hope that it won’t carry into next season. Either Francis should die as he should have done so ages ago, historically speaking, and then we could have probably an entire season of Mary feeling guilty about leaving him... no wait, that’s even worse. Sigh I don’t even know, just end it please?

Meanwhile, a Catholic chapel was being stormed by Protestants while a children’s choir was singing inside, and it was honestly horrifying. The radicals captured the children and were holding them hostage, and since General Renaude’s troops were still in Scotland, a last resort army needed to be put together from the castle. Narcisse decided to do what he does best aka stir some shit by playing two corpses with Conde’s seal near the chapel, so that whoever find them will think that he’s somehow involved, and Conde could finally be arrested on reasonable grounds. He told all this to Catherine while lying in bed with her, which was both very hot and very uncomfortable to watch, I mean, on one hand it’s Craig Parker almost naked, but on the other hand it’s not with Lola... anyway, the role of finding the corpses fell to Bash, who led an unsuccessful rescue mission and could barely managed to escape. Francis had to call back Renaude’s army and eventually the children were saved, but it kinda made me wonder how long the poor things must have been locked in there... I mean, an army in full armour making a journey from Scotland to France in the 16th century... I don’t even know.

Conde visited Mary and told her that he has to leave because he’s going to be accused, but Mary begged him to stay and then asked Francis to spare him. Conde didn’t feel all that comforted by her promises though because he met up with Elizabeth’s envoy, and received the news that Elizabeth had accepted his offer of marriage. And as it turns out, the marriage was going to take place right now. I was very excited to finally see Elizabeth but of course I should have known that she wouldn’t travel to France for such a petty matter as a marriage, so Conde had to do it through a proxy – a really nice girl named Annabelle Breton. The scenes of the marriage were interchanged with scenes of Mary writing a letter telling him that he’s safe and should come back to her, which I guess would have been heartbrraking to watch if I actually cared about this couple. But since I don’t, I was excited to see what would happen next, now that the Prince of Conde is also the King of England. Well, what happened was that it didn’t last more than a day. Conde left the next morning and later saw smoke arising from the village where the marriage was held, and also where Annabelle was still sleeping. He quickly sent back one of his men only to find out that she’s dead, the priest who officiated the ceremony was murdered, and the documents about it destroyed, so basically it’s like none of it ever happened. Conde begs the envoy to get a new proxy so that they can repeat the whole thing, but he’s reluctant to do such a thing without his Queen’s permission. Conde feels betrayed and fears for his life because if he gets found out, that’s high treason, so now he has to go into hiding until Elizabeth decides what to do with him.

But who’s responsible for the destruction of his one-day marriage? Catherine found out about it soon after and told Narcisse too, and know they both suspect each other. If that doesn’t tell you everything about their relationship then nothing will, and I so wish the writers could have realized that they’re so much better as partners in crime who mutually respect each other, than actual lovers... but I guess it’s too late for that. Anyway, I don’t think we actually found out who’s responsible. Maybe there’s going to be a big twist about it later? I sure hope so. Later, Francis told Mary about Conde’s marriage and she told him that of it’s true, then he must have done it because she had ended things between them... which, okay, I’m reading my notes now and I honestly can’t recall when that happened? Does she mean at the end of the previous episode, because if yes, and she’s saying this to make Francis understand that she chose him over Conde, then she’s full of shit because whatever happened in the previous episode was completely negated in this one when she told Conde that she still wants to be with him... Wow, this show really needs to sort its relationships out. I can’t stress that hard enough. Luckily Francis doesn’t give a shit about Mary’s flip-flopping emotions, he even told her earlier in the episode that he no longer cares what she does, and now he’s a little bit preoccupied with the problem of Conde possibly still being married to Elizabeth, which would mean that through him she has a claim to the French throne, and him being openly protestant would mean that all the other protestants in France would rally to help them claim the crown. Well, that’s a bit of a problem, isn’t it?

And finally, let’s also recap the (for me) most interesting and entertaining parts of the episode. Kenna and Lola visited Greer at her new brothel-house and found out that she’s now a Madame. Then they went back later for a party, where Kenna spotted Renaude and immediately asked Lola to leave... hmm ;) Then he asked Greer about him. More specifically, she asked "What's his pleasure?" Hmmmmmm ;))) But then Greer told her this story about how, during the hostage rescue, Renaude decided to save the rich boys instead of the common ones first, and it cost him the life of one of his men. This didn’t phase Kenna all that much because if anyone understands the need for a rich patron it’s her, and he told as much to Renaude when they ran into each other back at the castle. In exchange he told her that when he had asked Bash to join the celebration after the rescue, he excused himself by saying that he’s meeting someone, and then went off into the woods. This didn’t really come as a surprise for Kenna because earlier in the episode she was talking to Bash and pointed out that he’s been spending a lot of time in the woods with a „friend”... what did come as a surprise was Renaude telling her that he’s glad it wasn’t her that Bash was meeting. She asked him why’s that, and he gave this very cryptic answer: "I may look out for myself Lady Kenna, but I don't take things that don't belong to me. And it sounds like you don't belong to anyone.", and then he walked off, leaving Kenna completely baffled. I have to admit I am a bit baffled too. What does this mean? Does „you don’t belong to anyone” mean „not even to me”, or...? But then his relief at finding out that she’s not exactly on good terms with her husband would mean that he actually WANTS to be with her, wouldn’t it? What a weird way to phrase whatever he was trying to say.

Meanwhile, Lola has went outside and ran into Narcise, who warned her that it could be dangerous for her to be seen around such a place, what with her already being the mother of the king’s bastard son and everything. Then he said "I would escort you back if I was still welcome at court. Sadly, I'm not.", and I kinda had an „Oh, right!” moment when I realized that he’s actually supposed to be in the dungeons right now. Or at least that’s what Mary said in the previous episode, but I guess it was either just an empty threat or the writers completely forgot about it, because he’s very clearly still at court, sleeping with Catherine and all. Sometimes I just can’t make sense of the things happening on this show. Case in point, a messenger told Catherine about Narcisse and Lola being spotted together outside a brothel, and she asked him if Lola was his wife, what would he do in a situation like this, to which the messenger replied: I’d want him dead. Cue Catherine looking very much murderous. Now what does THAT mean? Will Catherine try to kill Lola? Because I bet Narcisse would have a thing or two to say about that.

Episode MVP: Craig Parker as Lord Narcisse

Quote of the episode:

"You know what I just realized? We're all basically fallen women. An unwed mother, a divorcée, eventually, and now, a madame. So I say to hell with what people think." – Lady Kenna